But here it is in its original form. I've colour-coded my favourite bits.
08 February 2005
BE BOWEL-ED OVER BY A BALTIC
Book your holiday and get a free colonic with Baltic Holidays!
To commemorate the 210th anniversary of Druskininkai, the oldest and most famous
spa resort in Lithuania, Baltic Holidays, the UK's leading operator offering
packages to the Baltic States, is giving away a free colonic irrigation treatment to anyone booking a trip to the destination.
The entire town, once a favourite haunt of Soviet health-seekers, is considered to be a sanatorium in itself, and was named among Europe's top ten health resorts in 2003 by Newsweek.
Among the bewildering variety of treatments on offer are curative showers, applications of curative mud, music chambers, reflexotherapy and oxygen treatment.
Picturesque Druskininkai has been famous for centuries for the curative properties of both its minerals (there are nine sources around the town), and its mud, which ranks among the best in Europe.
The town is small enough to be seen on foot. Those who can still walk after their treatment are encouraged to take a promenade along the banks of the Nemunas river. Find out how Druskininkai got its name by tasting the water at the fountain - but not to quench your thirst, as Druska means salt.
The Baltic Holidays Lithuania Spa break comes with a free colonic irrigation treatment and includes a stay at the three-star Regina Hotel, which has the best and most innovative kitchen in town.
Naturally, those taking a trip to Druskininkai aren't obliged to indulge in the offered "cleansing", but for holidaymakers looking for the ultimate holiday combining zip with zen, three-nights in the party town of Vilnius, followed by a four-day uber-cleansing of body and mind makes for an unforgettable experience.
Baltic Holidays offers a seven-night, two-centre break to Lithuania's capital, Vilnius and Druskininkai, in addition to bespoke packages.
VACATION WITH FREE EVACUATION, FROM £532
Baltic Holidays' seven-night break to Vilnius & Druskininkai, staying three nights at a three-star hotel in the heart of Vilnius Old Town, followed by four nights at the three-star Regina Hotel in Druskininkai costs £532 per person, B&B, based on double occupancy. Departures are available daily throughout the year. Holiday price includes private return airport transfers and return air travel from Gatwick to Vilnius. To book this package, or to enquire about bespoke trips to Druskininkai, contact Baltic Holidays (0870 757 9233/www.balticholidays.com).