04 January 2007

Airliners faster than ostriches

Just received a truly vacuous press release from a well-known online flight agency...

FIRST CLASS AIR TRAVEL 30 TIMES CHEAPER PER MILE THAN LONDON UNDERGROUND

The increase in London Underground fares make the system one of the most expensive underground systems in the world but also one of the most expensive ways to travel, says travel retailer XXX.

The price of a single zone one journey, which can often be less than a mile in distance, has gone up to an astronomical £4 and that is for a hot, crowded and often very uncomfortable journey.

Compare this with travelling first class on one of the world’s best airlines down under to Sydney and you have an average cost per mile of just 13 pence. Travel in economy and this brings the cost per mile to just three pence.
(They just happen to be selling flights to Sydney at these rates)

Imagine the difference in experience. One you’re reclined in your seat, watching your favourite movie whilst drinking Dom Perignon and having a personal chef bring you whatever you desire to eat. On the other you’re stuck between stations on a tube that is close to 100 degrees in temperature, jammed in like sardines with your head close to someone’s smelly armpit.
... and your point is?

Well, according to their quoted Marketing director, it is that...

Air travel receives a lot of negative media coverage for rises in taxes and fuel surcharges, but statistically it is cheaper to travel by airthese days than ever before when you consider the distances travelled.

OK, try to understand. The travel headlines earlier this week, for example, about how flying to Paris is x times cheaper by air than by train.... these are ok, because these are real and comparable options. Commuting from Finsbury Park to Oxford Circus in the first class cabin of an airliner is not.

Let's try and dream up some less obvious and irrelevant headlines to promote your business. How about..?

AIRLINE SURCHARGES CAN BE LESS EXPENSIVE THAN HIRING A PLUMBER

AIRLINERS FLY HIGHER THAN CRUISE SHIPS

TRAVELLERS SAY CROSSING THE ATLANTIC IS QUICKER BY PLANE THAN BY CAR


BTW. Speaking of online travel agencies and flights to Sydney. Did anyone see this story on yesterday's newswires? German Tourist ends up in Sidney not Sydney